Hearing stories and visiting the past

Me + 2 ex-orphans down unlit corridor

Well, my time here is coming to an end.

Tomorrow afternoon Leanne and I will leave Moldova for Romania, and then back to the UK where we are based out of.

The last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster. I’m kind of glad that Mia (Stella’s house big sister) organised the State run orphanage visits to be over the last few days, and today we heard some of the rescued kids testimonies this afternoon... it’s tough seeing what these kids have been through, and meeting the ones that ARE living there now, but finishing with seeing those that have got a better life, and hearing it from them, is awe-inspiring.

So, lets see a few facts to set the scene:

• "Approximately 13,600 Moldovan children are in orphanages or state boarding schools....Annual funding for the orphanages covers only about 55% of operational expenses.  Young adults leaving orphanages or state boarding schools are at a heightened risk of falling victim to poverty, drug abuse, and human trafficking."- U.S. Department of State, Bureau of European and Eurasian Affairs 2007.

• Statistic data show that 40 per cent of children (in Moldova... not just Orphanages) were subject to physical abuse, and 8 per cent are subject to sexual abuse. In many cases violence against children in applied repeatedly.
• Around 35 thousand school children remained at home without parents as a result of their [parents] migration abroad”.



The first orphanage

•  There are 61 residential childcare institutions in Moldova at present.  Forty of them are financed by the state, while the rest with money from local budgets. 

We had already seen photo’s from the providence orphanage from before the renovations, and we were heading to another that has had a little outside help and renovations... but is still well below the level. Originally they welcomed outside help, but it is believed that because they were gaining attention because of this, the government threatened to stop funding them, which forced them (as obviously you can’t depend on western societies or groups which only visit every few years to throw a bit of money around) to turn a bit of a cold shoulder to help, in order to keep the little consistent funding they had running.

Outdoor toilet, you cannot imagine the smell...

The conditions were really bad, but the feeling surrounding the places is worse. These kids are told they are worthless and beaten by their families before they even get to the orphanages, where often the same thing occurs and they spend their energy just trying to survive.

Our three guides were girls who had actually come from the orphanage, the eldest was there 3 years ago, the most recent only last year. THAT really makes it a reality. Hearing the stories of the girls while you walk down dark concrete hallways (no electricity), them pointing out the rooms of mean teachers who would eat lollies in-front of the orphans who had to go the whole school day without food (and the food was only soup and bread). The school was only for orphans too, so the bad teachers obviously used their status when telling them off, although the orphanage is slowly shrinking (due to the govt trying to get into the EU through handing kids back to abusive poor families) it used to house 900 children, and it is NOT big.

The younger children sleeping ... the wallpaper etc is new

One of the girls spoke of how they were made to wash and clean the orphanage and told things like “clean it well because your kids will probably be here soon”, others who were hungry would clean for the cleaners who would give them a piece of bread for their work.

A girl told of how her and her sister shared a bed when they had just arrived (and there was no room) there was a hole in the middle of the mattress, so they slept one on each side of the one bed and hurt their backs trying to sleep.

Bench where Phillip had to choose three girls to save.

We saw the park benches Phillip Cameron (Stella’s House) talks of... when he visited on a day they were letting all the 16yr-old girls “go” with their $30, unqualified and hopeless into a world that despised them. He was forced to choose 3 of 15 girls, as he only had room for three in the house built. Those are the eldest and the ones now making their own impact in the world and speaking out... of the other 12 girls only 1 was found later when there was more room in the house... I imagine we don’t want to know their stories.

The conditions... there was an outdoor toilet with five or so open toilets (holes in the ground) which smelled putrid, we were told of how water is so hard to come by the orphans have only one shower a week, and usually live in the same clothes day-in-day-out.

One of Stella's girls visits her younger sister who is still at orphanage

The rooms had been wallpapered and the windows replaced for the winter, but the conditions by NZ standard would be so unacceptable. We saw the downstairs crèche, where it was nap time and a bunch of the really young kids were all sleeping about three or four to a big bed. The women taking care of them looked nice, but tired, and suspicious of us. One of the girls commented that she came “here” that young. And although it was really bad there, it was better than being at home (her father lives just up the road and even has a job). What she remembers from home was an abusive alcoholic father that spent all his money on alcohol, and her sick mother (bedridden for 3 months in hospital, then at home couldn’t do anything) her mother got sicker as her father didn’t take care of her or feed her, and would beat her when he got home and I think tried to kill her at some stage... one day it was so bad she said she ran into the street screaming for others to help.

We heard the testimonies of a few others this afternoon and this seems like such a common story... with a lot unspoken I feel too. Children shouldn’t have to deal with a life like this, when they are born innocently into a horrible place, by what seems like chance.

Where the girls used to live together

I really felt terrible about myself on the drive to the second Orphanage (mentally challenged kids). I kept thinking how unfair it was that I had been born into a beautiful country, of wealth and equality, where women were treated well... where I had a loving supportive family. And these children and the Moldovan people had the polar opposite to deal with. I felt guilty for the clothes I was wearing, for the warm shower I’d just had, for the savings I had in my bank account, all of it.

Then I really felt like I was being told strongly that it wasn’t my FAULT, both that I was born with so much, or that they were born with so little, those in the past were responsible, and all of the evil that is each human being (greed, anger, lust, jealousy e.t.c. that has gotten the world to where it is today) BUT to whom much is given much is expected... and now that I have seen, I it my responsibility to change what is, and to make it known and strive for equality in the world.

I can’t change it all, but ONE life and one changed future is worth it. Because a human being in their fullness and filled with life is worth more than any sum of money, or expensive car, or carrying a handbag with a brand that other vain humans think is important.

The challenge will be now seeing those kind of people... and trying to convince them that their Gucci bag means nothing when you have 5 seconds left to live, but that the money and time spent choosing the bag could be invested in changing another’s life.

But people don’t like that realization, and ignorance really is bliss.

A boy at washing his clothes

Urgh, sorry guys I’m getting a little too introspective I think.haha. Ok, well the good news was the second orphanage had recently been completely renovated by a German company and was really nice (by the Moldovan Orphanage standard, I mean) and the assistant director who showed us round really had a good heart for the children, and loved them. I was surprised at how normal the children were... although quiet they seemed just like the normal kid, which was when I found out that kids sent here might only have mild issues, like ADHD or dyslexia, or just a little slower at school. The director spoke of how they are being forced to reduce numbers and send the children back to their homes with no replacement school or way to be educated (they trained the older children in cooking, sewing and woodwork to prepare them for jobs). They expect the govt to close them down in 2015, which almost feels as if all the good that’s been done is for naught.

Sweet girl who seemed to quietly read your soul...

He spoke of the old conditions, of the ladies cooking the food for all the children in one large pot outside, even in the harsh winter. They still were forced to choose between water being brought in, and medicine, food and clothing for the children... meaning if one was chosen the others suffered because of it.

For me I was so happy to meet a Moldovan man who was kind and smiled, and loved and treated children well... I was beginning to lose hope in his generation, but it’s good to see that there are a few strong ones that resist the social norms and are good men worth respecting.

I think this blurb is long enough for today :) Hope you’ve got a wee insight. I also hope that you want to help and change things because of it, whether in NZ or the country you live in... or over here ;)

I’m actually going to be doing a Charity Cycle in England soon to fundraise for the company I’m interning with... so keep that in mind if you’re thinking you would like to help. Or contact me any time.

Muah, love you friends and family... I appreciate you so much more now :)

Thanks