First full day in England

Had an awesome day so far, woke up early (well made myself sleep until 7am) and got up to go for a run... 
The house I am being hosted in is on the edge of the country-side which is really nice, though I stuck to mostly to the housing area for this morning. All the houses have quite a different style here don't they? 
Very English. haha. Bricky and very close together on small windy roads. I think I was lucky to find my way back as all the streets look the same.

Anyhoo had a lovely breakfast and met everyone, Andy and Lis are hosting me and they have 4 kids but the eldest has left for university. They're a very nice family, have a lovely big house and I get along with them well.
They go to a night church around here, and told me this morning that the two services on today are quite different (the night one's just new and is in a rougher area) so I figured it was my first day and I didn't have much to do... so I'd go to both and see which I preferred. Caught a ride in with a couple who live nearby, which ended up being an excellent connection which I'll mention later on.

Caught up with a few of the girls I met yesterday (when I went to the NLI office and ended up staying for the craft-afternoon) and was really relived/thankful to find that the Church was my kind of church... i.e. nice people, electric guitars at the front, reasonably youthy and overall very welcoming... plus DOING good things out there.
P.S. I've decided I'm pretty much going to use this as a record for myself and I expect the next few months are going to be a growing experience as a person... So it's going to be a little unedited and rough.

The message today was pretty cool really, it started with something about keeping your eyes "up" not at the things of the earth, because when you do you lose focus and begin doubting and the fears come back. It was kind-of a metaphor of sorts as in having faith and aiming high etc. I took this as relevant to me.
The pastor who seems pretty cool and young, was talking about forming a relationship with God and connecting and "hearing and recognizing his voice" which is obviously not really a voice but those feelings we get and feels a bit like your conscience, you know? 
Lots of little revelations in the message for me, but basically I was strongly reminded of the darkest time of my life so far (while in the Navy I was one of the ships first on the scene in Haiti just after the disasterous earthquake) when I just hit the wall and was broken down to nothing. I felt trapped in my job, both in a place I didn't want to be and being with a foreign Navy I felt there was no way to get home even if I'd wanted to, like I was battling and trying to achieve something unachievable, and the real heart-breaker was Haiti... seeing a country with no medical, education, government, food or water, and Aid agencies like UN and other big players being as corrupt as the police forces in the area. I felt as if everything I'd belived in was a lie and like I had no friends or family to talk to about it... I was on the wrong path and not where I wanted to be, and heading nowhere.

Anyhoo, on the worst day I lay in my pit ( bunk bed onboard) curtained in and just silently cried for ages (in like a 12 berth filled with people), eventually I opened up my bible praying that something would pop out and rescue me or give me hope etc... but it didn't. It was the final straw, I just felt hollow and sometime fell asleep.

Leaving Dubai, the flight to Birmingham

As a small insert, later in life I came across a quote which suits this moment perfectly, it's something like "if it seems slow in coming... Wait. It'll come just in time." The next day I decided that I would give up all of my previous goals and stop trying so hard to do the things people wanted or expected, and I would just enjoy MYSELF and be Kendra. That night I read the bible again and just opened it at a random page and low-and-behold I opened it up to the most perfectly suited passage and I was filled with hope again. Can't remember the actual words but it basically was just the fact that God loves you no matter what happens, whether you win or lose, achieve or fail, whoever you are and whatever you've done... and that giving up my fears and skewed expectations was the right thing for me to have done.
From that moment on everything I touched turned to gold, and everything that I'd been battling for just breezed into place. In the shortest space of time not only was I having fun and loving what I was doing again, I had achieved more than I'd previously dreamed possible. I became not only the youngest qualified Warfare watchkeeping Officer in the Canadian Navy, I was a female in the role.

What was I originally talking about? Oh year, hearing or recognising the voice.... So next came a quote about  some people who began building a temple, something like- although they were afraid, the began building the alter first... and it just kind-of hit me, that I had to be stripped bare, back to just my core and soul, before I could be rebuilt and become that much better.
And, fortunately (or unfortunately) I got the feeling this was happening again. I've moved away, left everything I know and am waiting to be rebuilt to be even better. It's kind-of exciting and worrying at the same time
I also think that if I want to be strong in my spirit, I need to be strong in my foundation before I can really help other people.

So... I got quite a lot out of a few hours, as well as meeting some lovely people. At the end of it the man that gave me a ride got up and gave a bit of his story to the Church, and mentioned that he was involved with something called streetpastor or something where one Saturday night a month him and a bunch of others go out into a rough part of town and just take care of people, listening to them and chatting and helping as much as they can. I've really wanted to do something like this for a long time, and missed out on a few opportunities because I've always been at sea.
He also mentioned they need more people to help (they always go in pairs etc)... so I'm going to try and do it too. We'll see, I had a chat to his wife and him, but I really hope I do get the chance to work with them.

So, all in all a really successful first day. I start the real job tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep before then.
I might pop in a photo from the flight over, a shot on the flight leaving Dubai on the way to Birmingham.